OT: Christmas present for the wrinklies in the group

The old ones are the good ones. ;-)

Merry Christmas. Have a good one!

Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user.
His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with
numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and
had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the
5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware
admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself,
"She looks user-friendly. I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes
like COBOL and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's
peripherals networking all over the place.

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin,
32-bit floating point processors and enquired, "How are you Honeywell?"
"Yes, I am well, " she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly
and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.

Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone
tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my base address.
I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then transmitted
"8K, I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page is just what I
need to refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your back-
ground and meet you inside." She walked off, leaving Micro admiring
her solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a global variable, I wonder if
she'll like my firmware."

They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche
and chips and a bucket of Baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and
expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledge-
ments although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least
critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old 'would
you like to see my benchmark subroutine', but Mini was again one step
ahead.

Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal
the full functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get
BASIC, you RAM," she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his
hardware policing module had a processor of its own and was in danger
of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted
his analyst about. "Core," was all he could say.

Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and
opened her device files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed
his fully packed root device and was just about to start pushing
into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

"No, no!" she piped. "You're not shielded."

"Reset, Baby," he replied. "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support
child processes," she protested.

"Don't run away," he said, "I'll generate an interrupt.'

"No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design
philosophy."

Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned
off. But she soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike
into his mains supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and
went to sleep.

"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "all they ever
think of is hex."

Re: OT: Christmas present for the wrinklies in the group

This really isn't rec.humor.funny, but....


HARLIE SAYS: "Daddy, how was I born?"
DAD SAYS: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a
download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
You've Got Male!"

On Sat, 22 Dec 2007 23:45:00 -0000, "Stuart McCall"
wrote:

>The old ones are the good ones. ;-)
>
>Merry Christmas. Have a good one!
>
> Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user.
> His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with
> numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.
>
> One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and
> had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the
> 5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware
> admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself,
> "She looks user-friendly. I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."
>
> Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes
> like COBOL and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's
> peripherals networking all over the place.
>
> He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin,
> 32-bit floating point processors and enquired, "How are you Honeywell?"
> "Yes, I am well, " she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly
> and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.
>
> Micro settled for a straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone
> tonight," he said. "How about computing a vector to my base address.
> I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get offset later on."
>
> Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then transmitted
> "8K, I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page is just what I
> need to refresh my disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your back-
> ground and meet you inside." She walked off, leaving Micro admiring
> her solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a global variable, I wonder if
> she'll like my firmware."
>
> They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche
> and chips and a bucket of Baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and
> expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledge-
> ments although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least
> critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old 'would
> you like to see my benchmark subroutine', but Mini was again one step
> ahead.
>
> Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal
> the full functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get
> BASIC, you RAM," she said. Micro was loaded by this stage, but his
> hardware policing module had a processor of its own and was in danger
> of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted
> his analyst about. "Core," was all he could say.
>
> Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and
> opened her device files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed
> his fully packed root device and was just about to start pushing
> into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.
>
> "No, no!" she piped. "You're not shielded."
>
> "Reset, Baby," he replied. "I've been debugged."
>
> "But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support
> child processes," she protested.
>
> "Don't run away," he said, "I'll generate an interrupt.'
>
> "No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design
> philosophy."
>
> Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned
> off. But she soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike
> into his mains supply, whereupon he fell over with a head crash and
> went to sleep.
>
> "Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "all they ever
> think of is hex."
>

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